Bonaparte Finale

Note: By the grace of the Almighty I’ve managed to write this under an hour, as KESC deprived me of any studying time, for my mocks with chemistry one being in a day’s time. Thanks to the development in scientific technology, with the aid of a laptop, I was able to write this will in utter darkness and extreme heat. I sincerely apologize if I’ve forgotten anyone, and if someone wishes to remind me of a particular incident that I should have written or I should have put someone else here or a better way to describe them self please message me on the inbox as I haven’t sent the final draft of the will yet. And im grateful for Rabia Ahmad for extending the deadline for me for my will and actually allowing me to write a will—it rocks having a relative as SPLITS president.

St.Pats. For some the word reminds them of the place where peons and students dress alike. For other it reminds them of the lack of quality commerce teachers. And others recall that place where over-age and club-playing or in extreme cases even representing Pakistan, players play cricket and football and that they believe is the secret for Pats bragging so many athletic and sports titles. Pats also holds a special meaning for me and that meaning can best be summed up in one word—home.

The OP batch of 2008 which I was so fortunate and blessed to be a part of is unparallel and unmatched in the history of St.Pats. It was our golden era and everything that we touched turned to gold. Nothing could match the unity of our class, and time and again teachers attempted to break the backbone of our class, and time and again they failed. In the end a particular staff member had to sheepishly admit “United you stand, united you will be punished.” We could ask for nothing more. I did and God willingly shall always cherish those moments of O’levels which including pulling off a vanishing trick of dusters which even Houdini probably couldn’t imagine, watching a rather “fit” teacher trying to squeeze through a door with half of it closed. We achieved what no other batch before had done—we were “deported” to another classroom because in the original class 11 room no one was getting caught. It didn’t make a speck of a difference to us. We discarded a so called fairy tale of a “camera” by searching it for so thoroughly it would have put a FBI search team to shame. We had a series of different English, Maths, Chemistry, Physics, Add Maths teachers—in fact there were so many numerous teachers that we it would require another sheet just to list them down—and yet at the end of the day it didn’t matter whether our teacher was from Saddar or Uganda, no one was spared. We were made to stand on desks or get tanned in the sun—during fasting—because we were required to spill the beans on our fellow classmates and yet we patiently preserved bearing everything that was thrown at it. I was blackmailed, threatened, implored with, reasoned with and was given the ultimatum that I would be “de-sashed” and yet I would gladly put my head on the giloutte again to relive those moments. This “will” is first and foremost dedicated to each and everyone who was privileged to be part of the elite batch. I did the impossible job of mentioning each and every single OP in my will but it came to over three pages. Inshallah I shall upload that will on the internet. For now to do justice to the whole batch I leave behind the names of those who shall remain in my heart forever no matter where they may be or how far we are. Abbas “Death God” Moiz, Asad “Dale Steyn” Moiz, Ahad “AK” Kazi, Ali Afzal, Ahmed “Bonanza” Iqbal Memon, Aun “Auni” Qadri, Asad “Swing on karo” Jafri, Ali Hasim, Faysal “Beta Faysal” Subhani, Fidelus “Bitter Chocolate” Mairo, Hataf “President G-unit” Shahab, Hammad “Debator” Tanzeem, Hassan “MK” Khan, Ibrahim "Chilled out guitarist" Habib, Maaz “CK” Anwar, Murtaza “Rower” Ahmad, Mustafa “Child-like-smile” Shahid, Muzzamil “Muzz” Imran, Nabeel “Yuvi” Fiazuddin, Philip “Make things better” Fernandes, Raza “” Rizwi Raymond “Tabla” Davidson, Saad “SK” Khan, Saad “Lazy” Intikab, Salman “Uchia” Bin, Salman “Super Istar” Usmani, Salman “Bolt” Uddin, Shah “Dr.Alam” Saad, Shan “Silent Assassin” Ahmed, Siyab “KG” Panhawar, Sohaib “Vice president G-unit” Tariq, Talha “Tallest basketballer” Shahid, Tayyab “Pinky” Mysorewala, Owais “Ouchi”, Wahaj “Sufi sahib” Ahmad, Wayne “Shortest basketballer” Francis, Waqas “King” Abid, Uzair “Shoaib Akhtar” Anwar, Zain “Maulana” Saleem.

A levels was an entirely new experience for me and there might have been visible signs of disintegration of the once unbreakable unity. However we managed to put all our fears to rest though perhaps rather unconvincingly, but in the end we still emerged on top. I was in group 8, and we were infamously termed as a bunch of “ruffians and hooligans” by a particular economics teacher. We lived up to our expectation and could safely boast that were the pioneers of bunking for our batch—Public Speaking and P1 teacher never saw our faces, and yet mysteriously our attendance was above 85%, in fact those people who bunked sometimes even had attendance more than those who usually attended. It was a miracle which could rank next to Moses parting the sea, what or rather who this mysterious savior was we all know, or rather those who have to know, know. There were also the unforgettable trips on Mondays to a particular food joint immediately after the 4th period, our second home was Student’s Biryani—our first home of course being the football field. Aimen Ali, a the modern Picasso of our whole group and the one who gets a bouquet of “roses”. Kiran Ghaniwala, the creator of BB-- had a great time talking (or making fun of you to be precise—which you always took in a positive manner), Zehrah Yaqoob the JA and cricket talks will be missed terribly, you are truly “Ze Source”. Syed “Happy” Ahmad, your large size may frighten an onlooker but you really are innocent and fun loving person to hang out with. Ammar Kamran, Don’t worry someday you can “ride” in the car too— ya right in your dreams. Danial “Saalay” Almani, in addition to your style of speaking, the telephone conversations with you would be missed. Mohsin “Katch” Raza, ,maybe in university you will find someone who you can challenge in maths and actually come on top. Your self-pride and belief stood out amongst us all. Muneeb Sohail : Sir you are the gentleman of the class. And a mighty generous gentleman too. Narendar “Chuuks” Lal: You truly deserved your gown, and are a great finisher in football and I shall miss defending with you for group 8. Taha Owais, will miss discussing cricket with you and lending out money to you for your ever-endless mamaia. Taimoor “TJ” Khan: We may have fought all two years and tried to put each other down repeatedly, but in the end it was great having you in group 8 and I’m sure we’ll let everything pass as good naturedly. Umer “Talker” Tauqir, Tauqir Talks.You have the potentials of an extremely talented cricket and along with Almani were among those who passed great comments which made the whole class burst into laughter. Waleed Sohail: You proved that size doesn’t matter, and I shall greatly miss your moving taleems. The tall and bespectacled Tayyab Sadiq with your leg spins and comments in class were great moments and rest assured will be treasured. Prince Turgut Your Royal Highness is abdicating and leaving Pats and will be missed especially in the eco classes. Sidra Ahmad, thank you for all your help, especially regarding universities, and your tip for the S1 paper was priceless. I will miss annoying you that you will get you know what one year before any of us. My two greatest OP pals Shan-e-Ahmad and Salman Usmani to both of you I owe you an infinite amount of gratitude and appreciation, in addition to both of you helping me out academically, school life would not have been the same without you. Yousra Mateen: Mere Khala key best friend. One of the sweetest and helpful person in whole of St.Patricks, and one of those few “elite” who were shorter than me. Rabia Ahmad: The SPLITS president, a prefect but much more importantly the Khala of me, which is honour enough. I will miss taunting and annihilating you with comments and demands of magnum, but here’s the good news, there’s always facebook and family reunion to look forward to, so don’t thank your luck too much that you’ve got rid of me. Zahra Zaman, Thanks for being there and helping out and supporting me. Your favours are too numerous to list, “thanks a million” for each and everyone of them.

And finally I come to the current AS batch of group 2/3. I may say a lot of things about them and try to compare them to the current A2 batch and in end retort to them that they are nowhere near t he current A2 batch, but they are not that bad a group of people. There is the sporty Taimoor, the leader of next year taleem—Saad Salim, the three Bahrains Arbal, Asad and Shaheer, three former OPs Abdullah, Omar and Zaryab, the nephew of a particular economics teacher—Sadiq, the innocent Moin, the fun loving Ali, the “captain” Mohammed Talha, Ammar who shows up once a week to school, the silent nature of Rafay, the helpfulness of Hera, the sweetness and kindness of Zainab, the skeptical look of Hijab, and the study genius duo of Asra and Munira.

Years later, when everyone of us has dispersed into this world and are scattered like seeds on a beach, I’ll rummage through my old stuffs in the attic, looking to clear and make room for new items, my eyes will fall upon this yearbook, curiously I’ll open it, and then I’ll recall the fond memories and probably have a tear roll down my cheek as I read this. NO, that will not happen, because God willingly I’ll ensure this will never ends up in the attic at all. Allah guide us all and gather us together in the after-life, as He did in school, only this time in the company of those nearest to Him. Ameen.